I was looking back at my journal page with my resolutions for 2011 and this is the exact thought that went through my head, "if I didn't like this journal page so much I would run it through the shredder RIGHT NOW!" There were only 4 things written on my list of "to-do's" for the year and, at first glance, I didn't accomplish A SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
As I was just starting to silently berate myself for my apparent failures and waste of an entire year, I began thinking back...I really liked 2011. How could such a good year been a "failure"? I had so many opportunities and adventures and good things happen in the past year. Things that I could have never envisioned for myself when I wrote those 4 "failures" at the beginning of the year. For instance, my first resolution was to "get control of my health" and while I certainly don't feel "in control", I ended up weighing less than when the year started and I have made great progress in small steps.
My #2 resolution was "get a passport". When I wrote that I really didn't have anywhere to go but I figured that if I had a passport, the travel would follow. Plus, having a passport is just plain cool. Well, no, I still don't have a passport but I did do more traveling this year than I have in a long time. My family and I went on a vacation to the Oregon Coast and I went with my parents, kids, and nephews to California to be a part of a once in a lifetime opportunity to see my brother's U-2 solo. I wouldn't trade either of those experiences for a passport.
#3 was to run a successful Etsy store. Well, I don't have a successful Etsy store, in fact, I don't have anything in my Etsy store right now but I have been able to get a better feel for Etsy this year and what I want to do with my art. I have also been able to identify better what I do not want. It has been a year that has helped me grow and move more towards the true me. Which means my resolution has turned out to not really be a big priority right now.
Resolution #4 was "art everyday (Sketchbook Challenge and get published)". I know for sure that I didn't do art everyday and seemed to gravitate away from the Sketchbook Challenge. Not only that but I didn't even send in a single piece of art to be published so unless editors are also gifted in the art of osmosis (which would sure make my life easier, by the way), I don't expect to be published in the next few months. I have, however, done quite a bit of art this year and I am proud of the growth I have experienced. I also did something else that I have never done before, I took an online class. Not only that but I took three! I took Mary Ann Moss' Remains of the Day (and I just signed up for Full Tilt Boogie, both of these AWESOME classes are ON SALE right now and worth every penny), Christy Tomlinson's She Had Three Hearts, and my daughter and I are working on Brave Girls Club's Brave Mothers and Daughters. I am also teaching a high school age art journaling class this coming semester which is definitely "putting myself out there".
So, despite, my initial failure response to my 2011 resolutions, I have had a good year. I've had the usual ups and downs but all in all, 2011 was good to me. I've seen much growth and realize that much of what I thought I wanted in the beginning was just the tip of the iceberg. The actual path that I was supposed to take was better than I could have imagined and all along I was (as the sign above my desk reminds me) "right where I should be".
Great Post Jolene, I like how you took what at first seemed to be failures and how you were able to see the gifts that 2011 really brought to you. Here's to an awesome 2012.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing how we can look at the year to come, know EXACTLY what we need, then at the end of the year realize we didn't know anything at all? Makes me skeptical of New Year's resolutions, but I think without them we would stop trying for anything and probably miss out on all those unknown experiences waiting for us!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you were teaching a high school art class...that is fantastic! Let me know if you ever need somewhere for Jake to hang out!
Don't be too hard on yourself! You're going to do great this year!
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